Proper Management of Human Resources involves matching people with certain skill sets, with jobs that require those skill sets. First off, Rudy should not "Run" for anything. He's too old.
He should WALK for office, and at a leisurely pace I might add.
Now, is he fit to run for government? Tell me another one and that will be TWO jokes.
Well, what public office or job level is he fit for.
Well, at 17 million a year, he has money and time on his hands, and we know that "idle hands are the devil's workshop". Case in point, since he had nothing to do, he started running for president.
So, since that's a ridiculous proposition, and dangerous for this great land of ours, he needs a more attainable and more appropriate goal.
Well, as a New York lawyer, his stock and trade is handling shyte (shit). He brags that when he was mayor there, he turned the place around and cleaned it up.
Now, dog pooh in the streets of NYC has long been a real problem. Let's say you're an investment banker, on the cell phone, not really watching where you are going. You are on your way to meet an important client. Suddenly, you discover your expensive loafers have just played slip and slide with a stinking, hot pile of canine caca. What DO YOU DO? What DO you do about the do-do?
Well, prevention is the best medicine, and who better to lead the pooper scooper patrol than your old friend "Too Much Rouge" Rudy, "American's Failure?.
Rudy could be given a small, perhaps electric or hybrid scooter (herein after also referred to as the Pooper Scooper Scooter) and a scooper, and perhaps, some sort of odor reducer spray (which probably does not have any propellant to increase the ozone problem, maybe water based) and sent forth to do what he loves and does best...Clean Up New York City, and make it safe for both tourists, and Yorkers.
But, he claims to be an expert on matters regarding terrorism, so here is where the plan really shines.
I suggest we also provide him with a generic, economically priced notebook (on of those handsized ones with a ring binder at the top that fits in the shirt pocket), and 10 number two pencils, and a hand sharpener (from Wal-Mart).
Armed with his deadly analog data encryption tools (perhaps he could be taught shorthand), he would ROAM the city of New York, scooping poop, and watching out for (drum roll inserted here)...'THE TERRORISTS".
He could keep his ear to the ground so to speak, perhaps he could learn a few words of other languages like Spanish, Puerto Rican, Farsi, Arabic, etc., and make daily reports (taking notes as needed) on which terrorist plots he encountered, and the names of those involved.
I mean, who's going to suspect a lowly pooper scooper of being an agent of terrorist interception.
He would be "embedded" in New York. Giulani is perfect for that, because, like a tick, he is embedded in the fabric of the Big Apple.
So, his job would involve increasing sanitation, decreasing the exposure of the public to possibly disease spreading dog poop, plus, being a constant agent to detect and report back on any brewing Al Qaedo plots.
I think we have a perfect job for Rudy. He won't have to commute for, he can't do that much damage even if he screws up, and he may even actually help clean up New York City on a daily basis.
There you have it. VOTE FOR RUDY GIULIANI FOR DOGCATHER IN NEW YORK CITY, 2008
